Insanity Gets a Keyboard
by BlessedMC
Summary: A series of one-shots in which I allow my insanity to have a crack at writing. Rated T because a) There will most likely be extensive cursing (I'll try really hard to censor some) and b) Because budder. Contains budder, silly, blocks, squid-murder, probable sadness, and other assorted tidbits of awesomeosity and whatnot. :D
1. Lalna And The Button (Also a crazy teen)

_**Please read AFTER Aquatic Evils! This doesn't directly have anything to do with the story, but rather the question section! GO! GO NAO!**_

Lalna and the Button

It was a relatively regular day at Lalna's crazy castle. Now, it was mostly crazy because of the design itself, which is just weird. I mean, what is with that giant globe thingy? It was also crazy, however, because of the man who inhabited said crazy castle. You have to admit, it's hard not to laugh at his sillyness sometimes...

ANYWHOODLES!

Lalna was simply milling around his castle, tinkering with the inventions that were just strewn about, when suddenly, there was a sound that sounded like a sound that would be made when the dentist puts that little vacuum into your mouth that pretty much makes your entire face collapse inwards. Lalna whipped around to find that a wormhole had opened up behind him, and was literally about to touch it when a hand shot out and slapped his. The hand belonged to a girl, who had to be around fourteen. She was wearing a black sweatshirt with two parallel orange stripes down each sleeve, and a set of headphones, also black and orange. Her extremely short blond hair was sticking up in many directions, like she had either just woke up or had been running around.

"Here," she said, shoving a small gray box with a large red button on top into Lalna's hands, "Hold this until I get back. And don't press that button!" The girl ran back through the portal, somehow closing it behind her.

Now Lalna, being the curious scientist he was, instinctively wanted to press the button. But he had been explicitly told not to by an interdimensional teenager. He was in control of his curious nature.

For about three minutes, anyway.

He pressed the button, which clicked quite loudly, and heard that sound again, followed by some insane laughter. A man wearing sunglasses, a black and gray jumpsuit, and a golden amulet ran through the portal that had appeared behind him. He was carrying what looked like an armful of golden ingots, and cackling like a madman. He ran past Lalna, grabbed the device from him, and jumped out a window. He heard another sound, and assumed that he had created another portal back to wherever he was before. Suddenly, something slapped Lalna on the back of the head. Lalna whipped around once again, to find the girl again, obviously angry with him.

"I told you not to press that button! Now Adam's got my budder and I don't know where he is!" she yelled, her vibrant orange eyes never leaving Lalna's teal ones. She put one hand out in front of her, and used either magic or just mental abilities to lift Lalna into the air. She made a motion with her free hand, opening another wormhole, and threw Lalna into it. He landed in a jail cell, to one side of a room with some excruciatingly annoying noises coming from it. He could see into another room with what looked like a blue astronaut, a guy with a green headset, and the girl again, only with purple eyes, purple stripes on her sleeves, and a pair of goggles similar to Lalna's own pair perched on her forehead, all sitting at a square table. Suddenly, the guy who had taken the device from him burst through another wormhole, panting.

"I think I lost her," he said, sitting down next to the astronaut. There were two very loud explosions to either side of Lalna just as more gold ingots rained down from the ceiling. A girl ran past his cell, laughing wildly, before being caught by the girl who had thrown him in there in the first place, who threw the first girl in there next to him.

"Whose bad idea was it to put me in here and why?" Lalna yelled, suddenly concerned for the sanity of everyone in the room, himself included.

The girl who threw him in the crazy cell looked over at him, eyes shining in an evil fashion, and said, "That would be me, thank you very much."

_**Yeah.. Sanity is not a language I speak.. This was meant to be nothing but extreme silly... and stuff.**_

_**-Bless out!**_


	2. Watery Problems

_**I'M BACK BITCHES!**_

_**Sorry about disappearing for freakin' ever! I moved a really long way, and just haven't been all that motivated to do much of anything... BUT with summer here now, updates should become more frequent, along with a few other... surprises.**_

_**Anywhoodles, for now, enjoy **_Watery Problems!

When you're someone like SkythekidRS, you barely know the definition of a normal life, let alone lead one. That's why Sky was worried when his friends were actually quiet for more than five minutes. In fact, it had been five days since he'd heard from Bashur, Bodil, Deadlox or Jerome.

Sky walked to the house of his friend Deadlox, hoping to find some sign that his friends were safe. He had originally thought that they were off doing some parkour, but threw that idea to the squids once he realized that they would have left him a note.

Sky knocked on the door, silently praying that Deadlox hadn't been kidnapped by squids yet again. Instead, however, Bashur answered the door.

"Bash?" Sky asked, confused, "What are you doing here?"

The melon-man thought about it for a second. "We're just plo-I mean researching squid hideouts! Yeah, research." Bashur said, sounding a bit nervous and rehearsed.

"Oookkkaaayy... Can I come in?"

"No... but you can go to one of the hideouts we found!"

Sky was a bit suspicious of the refusal, but ignored the feeling in favor of bashing squid heads in.

"Alright, where?"

"Here," the melon man said, handing the budder king a map with a large red 'x' on it. "It's the old quarry we turned into a lake for swimming."

"Ok…. Thanks." Sky said, walking away towards the supposed squid base.

"Phew!" Bash said, slamming the door before yelling into the house, "He's gone now!"

Bodil stood up quickly from behind the couch, wobbling slightly from a head rush.

"You sure?" he asked hesitantly.

"Positive." The melon man replied.

Deadlox jumped down from the ceiling he had been inexplicably hanging onto, just as Jerome came out from a secret passage behind some bookshelves.

"Track is done," he said, before smirking at Deadlox, "And I powered the entire track."

"Alrighty then," Deadlox said, before passing out minecarts. "Let's go screw with Sky."

^-THIS ISN'T A LINE BREAK, IT JUST LOOKS LIKE ONE-^

Sky stood knee deep in water at the old quarry, but no annoying navy-blue creatures swam in its depths.

"Maybe their intel was outdated," Sky theorized, trying to figure out why his friends had sent him out here, "Or maybe the squids are all hiding."

In fact, Sky was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the distinct combination of crunching twigs and muted snickering that would have alerted him to the presence of four jokesters behind him. He also didn't notice the hand gently lifting the chain of his amulet from around his neck until it was too late.

"What are you-" Sky was cut off by his amulet being yanked from around his neck and the snickers that erupted into full-blown laughter as Sky was shoved into the deeper parts of the lake.

Deadlox, Jerome, Bodil and Bashur kept laughing for minutes after, about the look on Sky's face when Bodil grabbed the amulet, which had now turned a strange combination of green and pink.

However, Deadlox was first to stop laughing when he realized that their friend, who should have come up sopping wet and probably a bit mad was nowhere to be found.

"Sky?" Deadlox asked, hoping he hadn't inadvertently killed his best friend.

The group waded into the lake, out to the ledge just before the drop-off they had pushed Sky over. The water was too murky to see anything clearly, so Bodil pulled out a splash potion of night vision to aid them in finding their friend. What they saw was certainly a sight to behold.

Sky was standing at the bottom, angrily glaring at his friends, making no effort to come up to the surface.

After a few minutes of supposedly trying to curse his friends out and discovering that water wasn't very good at transferring the sound, Sky had to resort to sign language.

'Cactus' was what his hands read, causing more laughter to come from the four on the surface. They would have gladly continued laughing, if it weren't for the squids that came out of the depths to annoy their sworn enemy. Even through the sound veil the water created, they could hear the squids' annoying tones.

Sky began wildly swinging at the squids, all the while motioning for his amulet. Bodil threw it in, and Sky landed a punch, causing the squids to reel back. Sky put his amulet back on, reverting it to the original yellow and purple, and hurriedly swam back to the surface.

As he pulled himself out of the deeper waters, glaring pointedly at the four around him, Sky said, "If you ever do anything like that again, I will drag you down with me."

_***For anyone not familiar with American Sign Language, the sign for cactus is a flipped-bird-hand resting atop an open palm. :P**_

_**Tire and rope; tie self. Too irate, so I eat a sheep.**_

_**Anyone that can name the game that random tip came from gets a buddery cookie.**_

_**ANYWHOODLES, hope you got a few laughs outta this, because the next one isn't gonna be a bucket of laughs. :P**_

_**~Jordyn out!**_


	3. Jeffery's End

_**I'm so sorry.**_

_**Please don't hurt me.**_

_**WARNING: TEARS, SADNESS, AND OTHER SADDENING THINGS.**_

Jason was floating up in space, looking around at the beauty surrounding him.

Except the beauty of it all wasn't reaching him.

In his arms was a small, motionless pink body. No friendly snort came from the astronaut's swine companion today, nor ever again. Jeffery, after many fun adventures, had finally moved on to the Aether. Jason shed a tear, remembering how his small friend met his end.

*Flashback*

Jason had been wandering through a Taiga biome, searching for a lot of snow to create an army of snow golems for his new base. However, much of the ground was bare or covered in unsuitable snow. Jeffery snorted to the cosmic adventurer, signaling that he had found some good snow.

Jason ran over to the small pink animal and eagerly dug up the snow.

"Thanks, buddy." Jason said, patting his friend's head and giving him a carrot, earning a cheerful short. They continued on their way, passing a small pack of wolves.

After finding enough snow to create a few golems, Jason looked at the sun's position.

"It's getting dark. We should head home, Jeffery." Jason said, looking around for his companion.

"Jeffery? Where are you, bud?" He asked, getting worried.

Suddenly, he heard a pained squeal from back the way they had come a little ways.

"JEFFERY!" Jason yelled, sprinting off to the source.

He ended up in a clearing where four wolves had cornered Jeffery and had begun attacking.

Jason pulled out his sword and began attacking the feral canines. They put up a tough fight, but Jason's determination to save his friend won over.

He stepped over the dead wolves and ran to his injured companion. Jeffery lay on his side, blood flowing heavily from a severe wound across his stomach.

"No, no, no, no," Jason said, trying to put pressure on the wound. He knew deep down that Jeffery wouldn't make it, but wouldn't believe it. "You're gonna be ok, buddy. Everything is gonna be ok."

Jeffery oinked in protest, knowing his human friend was lying to himself.

Jason tapped a switch on his neck, retracting his helmet so that his friend could make eye contact with him. "Don't be like that, dude, you'll be fine. Everything will be fine. You'll have lots of yummy carrots to munch on..." By this point, tears were running down Jason's cheeks, pooling in the rim where his helmet met his suit. "Dammit, Jeffery don't do this to me! Please..."

Jeffery weakly reached up a hoof to his friend's tear streaked face, knowing his time had come. He quietly oinked in farewell, before closing his eyes and going limp.

"Jeffery? Jeffery?!" Jason asked, knowing his friend was gone but refusing to allow himself to believe it.

He wailed in despair, scaring many birds away with the pure anguish in his voice. Jason sat there sobbing for hours, no mob daring to come near.

As dawn broke in the sky, the astronaut, his tears now silent, once again covered his face with his helm, picked up his friend, and walked home.

*End Flashback*

Jason looked now at the body in his arms, the blood washed away and the wound stitched. Jeffery could have been sleeping, if it weren't for the complete lack of breath or heartbeat.

Jason hugged the body close, not wanting to let go but knowing that he would have to eventually. Finally choosing a direction, Jason released his friend, before activating his jetpack and returning home.

Jeffery's body began to float away from Minecraftia, moving towards the beautiful nebulae that his eyes had once admired. A small note was attached to his side, along with a ripened carrot.

_May you forever float among the beautiful cosmos you once admired so very much._

_I will never forget you._

_-Jason_

_**Based on this fan animation by SuperChopOnline (**__**/watch?v=YpY9loZNOGY**__**)**_

_**I'm literally crying my eyes out at 11pm writing this.**_

_**Not helping myself by listening to Imagine Dragons and Coldplay, either.**_

_**-Jordyn out...**_


End file.
